And when I wake on Christmas morning
by TwilightPony21
Summary: Harm and Mac fall a little more in love over Christmas.
1. Decorations

**Hi, everyone! I realize it's May and not December. But my muse apparently went a little crazy and just couldn't let go of this Christmas story. So if you don't mind reading Harm and Mac Christmas fluff in May, I hope you enjoy the story. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"Good morning, ma'am."

That wasn't exactly how Sarah MacKenzie would have described it. It was a chilly, gray December morning in Falls Church, and Mac could have sworn she saw a few snow flurries spitting from the sky on her commute into JAG. But Harriet seemed undeterred by the weather as she approached Mac's desk with a bright smile and a sparkly garland of red and green tinsel.

"Morning, Harriet," Mac greeted.

"I hope you don't mind if I hang some tinsel over your door, ma'am," Harriet said. "We're just trying to get everybody into the Christmas spirit here at JAG. The admiral has already given us permission to decorate."

Mac sighed. She didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings, but she wasn't really in the Christmas mood this year. It had never been one of her favorite holidays, but this year she was finding it harder than usual to get caught up in the excitement.

"Ma'am? If you'd rather not—"

Mac forced a smile. She didn't want her own feelings about Christmas to detract from Harriet's happiness. "No, Harriet, it's fine. Go ahead."

Harriet's face lit up. She left the room and quickly returned with a step stool so that she could string the tinsel around Mac's doorframe.

* * *

"So Harriet got to you, too."

A little while later, Mac was interrupted again as Harm stopped by her office, ducking under a loop of tinsel.

"I told her she could hang it over the door," Mac explained.

"At least your office was spared the light-up snowmen."

Mac's lips curved into a small smile. "I keep telling myself that she's just trying to spread some Christmas cheer."

"But you're not into Christmas cheer." The way he said it was more of a statement than a question.

Mac shrugged.

Harm crossed his arms over his chest and studied her carefully. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Mac said defensively. Sometimes she hated the way Harm could read into her moods, and he had been doing a really good job of it lately. She didn't know whether to be glad or annoyed that she had such a good friend.

 _Is that what he is?_ Just a friend? Sometimes she wasn't sure. They worked together all the time, in the courtroom and out on investigations. They teased each other and looked out for each other, but sometimes Mac felt like there was an electric undercurrent running between them that she didn't quite understand.

"I'm sorry," she finally said. "Things have been a little crazy lately, and this has just never been my holiday. You know, Christmas at my house always meant a bigger pay day. And a bigger pay day just meant more alcohol."

"Yeah, well, Christmas at my house was never the happiest day of the year either."

Mac saw the sadness flash through his eyes, and she knew he was thinking of that fateful Christmas Eve back in 1969.

"Harm." Her voice softened with understanding, and she wondered if he even realized he had such a calming effect on her.

"A lot of kids stayed up waiting for Santa that night," he said quietly. "And I stayed up waiting for my dad. I guess I would have had better luck with Santa."

"Commander Rabb? Colonel MacKenzie?"

They both turned to see Petty Officer Tiner standing at the door behind them. "The admiral would like to see you."


	2. Cheer

Admiral A.J. Chegwidden was angrily pacing his office when Harm and Mac entered the room.

"What on earth was I thinking?" he muttered under his breath. "Christmas must be affecting my brain. I never should have allowed this to happen—"

"Sir?" Harm asked, concerned.

"Lieutenant Sims decorating this office," the admiral said sharply. "Look at what she's done!"

He motioned to three toy chipmunks sitting on his desk.

"Uh…chipmunks, sir?"

"Not just any chipmunks, Commander." To demonstrate his frustration, A.J. squeezed one of the furry little paws, and a high-pitched wailing filled the office.

 _Christmas, Christmas time is near_

 _Time for toys and time for cheer._

 _We've been good, but we can't last_

 _Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast._

A.J. scowled. "This building is the JAG headquarters for the United States Navy. We don't allow chipmunks, squirrels, gophers, or any other singing vermin in here."

Harm and Mac could barely contain their smiles.

"Sir," Mac began, "I don't think Harriet meant to disrupt—"

"Colonel." The admiral dumped the three chipmunks unceremoniously in her lap. "Dispose of these immediately. And tell Lieutenant Sims to keep the Christmas cheer to a minimum from now on."

"Yes, sir."

Satisfied with his solution, the admiral sank down into his chair. "Well, while we're running a showcase for singing rodents, the _USS Holiday_ has come into port, and one of her sailors has gone UA." He reached for a file on his desk. "Lieutenant James Hanson. Went on liberty last night with some of his shipmates, and those same shipmates reported him missing this morning."

"UA, sir?" Harm asked. "No sign of foul play?"

"None. The captain wants him brought in on UA charges, but it turns out that Hanson has disappeared completely. Hard to charge someone if you can't find them. Hanson has a wife and daughter in the area, but they haven't seen him either. Commander, Colonel, your job is to find the lieutenant and do it quickly. That will be all."

Harm and Mac both rose to attention. "Aye, aye, sir."

"Bud," Harm called as he and Mac left the admiral's office. "Lieutenant James Hanson on the _USS Holiday_. He's gone UA. We need you to look into his background and see if there's something that will tell us why. Mac and I are going to talk to his shipmates and his family. Get us everything you can on Hanson."

"Yes, sir," Bud replied. "Right away, sir."

"Bud!"

Harriet caught her husband just as he strode by her desk.

"Harriet, I need to work on getting some information for the commander and the colonel."

"I know," Harriet said, "this will just take a second." She pulled her husband aside and whispered in his ear. "I think both the commander and the colonel could really use some extra Christmas cheer this year."

"You think so?" Bud asked. He shook his head. "Harriet, I don't think we should get involved in their personal affairs."

"I'm not saying we have to get involved, Bud. I'm just saying that maybe a couple of Christmas elves could help them out a little."

"And those elves would be?"

Harriet smiled mischievously. "Us."

Bud grimaced. "That's what I was afraid of."


	3. Friends

**Thank you all for your nice comments and thank you for reading a Christmas fic in May! I hope you like the next chapter.**

* * *

Throughout the drive to the _USS Holiday_ , Harm had to admit that he kept one eye on the road and one eye on the Marine sitting in the passenger seat next to him.

She looked a little more tired than usual, he decided. The year had taken its toll on both of them, and he knew the Christmas season was always hard for Mac.

It was hard for him, too. Sometimes he felt like the ghost of his father still haunted every Christmas, and he tended to throw himself into his work at this time of year. Investigating this case was a welcome distraction for him, and he was glad that Mac was coming along with him. She had always been a good friend during the hard times, and sometimes Harm wondered if she wasn't becoming something more.

"Good morning, Virginia!" The radio had been playing softly in the background, but the deejay's voice cut in loudly as the song came to an end. "It's a cloudy December morning with a chance of snow flurries later this afternoon, but we hope you'll join us as we play your holiday favorites all day long, whether you're out there taking care of some last minute Christmas shopping or you're putting up your tree or snuggling in front of the fireplace with someone special..."

Harm couldn't take it anymore. He reached for the radio dial at the same time as Mac, and their hands collided, sending a cascade of sparks up his arm.

"Sorry." Mac drew her hand back quickly, and Harm wondered if she had felt the same heat that he did. "I was just going to change the station."

"Probably not much on besides Christmas music."

"Probably not," she agreed, turning the knob to switch off the radio completely. "So what are you doing for Christmas this year?"

Harm glanced over at her and then back to the road. "Oh, I don't know. Haven't really thought about it yet."

"You're not gonna go see your mom?"

"She and Frank are going on a cruise this year."

"So your mom is taking off to some tropical island and leaving you behind?" There was a hint of teasing in her voice.

"Pretty much." He grinned. "How about you?"

"Oh, I...I don't think I'm doing anything for Christmas."

Mac twisted her hands uncomfortably in her lap, and before he could even think about what he was doing, Harm reached over and entwined his fingers with hers.

It was almost an involuntary reaction.

She was surprised but she instantly relaxed as she seemed to appreciate his warmth, and the two friends fell into a comfortable silence until Harm pulled the car up to the dock. The _USS Holiday_ loomed in front of them, and the steel gray ship almost blended into the gray December sky.

"I'm surprised they haven't decked her out in Christmas decorations," Mac said wryly. "They need Harriet here."

"Don't give them the idea," Harm pleaded.

* * *

"Captain, Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie are here to see you."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

Captain Nicholas stood to greet his guests, and Harm and Mac saluted as they entered the room.

The captain was an older, larger man, and Mac thought he actually looked a little bit like Santa Claus. He didn't have such a jolly attitude, though.

"Hanson and some of the other guys left the ship last night," the captain explained gruffly. "Hanson's the only one who didn't come back."

"Well, sir, have you considered that there might be a reason for that?" Harm asked.

"I run a tight ship here, Commander. If I allow the guys to leave, and they don't come back, I consider them UA."

"Have you ever had any problems with Lieutenant Hanson before?" Mac wondered.

"Not like this. He's always been a bit of an odd duck, but he's never gone UA."

"What do you mean by odd duck, sir?"

"Well, he was a good sailor, but he was one of those guys who just kept to himself a lot."

Harm glanced over at Mac. "Captain, if it's all right with you, we'd like to take a look in his quarters."

"Of course," the captain agreed. "Jefferson!"

"Yes, sir?" The lieutenant stepped back into the room.

"Show Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie to Hanson's quarters."

"Yes, sir. Follow me, please, sir, ma'am."

* * *

"Lieutenant Mark Jefferson," Mac said, taking down his name on her notepad. "So you were with Lieutenant Hanson last night?"

"Yes, ma'am, I was," he replied.

"Did he give you any indication that something was wrong?"

"Nothing unusual, ma'am. He's a quiet guy, but we were all excited to be on liberty. Just in time for Christmas, you know."

Harm was shuffling through some of the papers on the desk. "Where'd you guys go last night?" he asked.

"Just to one of the bars downtown. We didn't stay late, and we didn't get drunk. But when we got up to leave, we couldn't find him. And we looked everywhere, sir."

"None of you saw him leave?"

"No, sir."

"And you didn't see anyone else with him?"

"No, sir."

"How many drinks did you have?" Mac asked.

"Only one, ma'am. Like I said, we weren't drunk."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Aye, ma'am, sir."

As Jefferson exited the room, Mac turned to Harm and sighed. Her partner was combing through the lieutenant's closet compartment, but from the look on his face, the search wasn't turning up anything.

"It doesn't look like he took anything from his quarters," Harm observed.

"So maybe something really did happen to him."

"Or maybe wherever he was going, he didn't need to take anything."

Mac moved across the room to take a closer look at the photos hanging over the bed. "This must be his wife and daughter. He's got a lot of photos...he obviously loved the two of them. So why would he disappear without telling them?"

Harm sighed. "You know what, Mac? Maybe we're thinking too hard about this. Maybe the guy just went home for Christmas."

"Well, let's go find out, partner."


	4. Family

"Elizabeth Hanson? I'm Colonel MacKenzie, this is Commander Rabb. We'd like to talk to you about your missing husband."

"James?" Elizabeth nodded and opened the door to let them inside. "Has there been any word? Please come in."

"Thank you."

The Hanson home was small but inviting and obviously well-cared for. Outside, a holly wreath hung on the front door and a light dusting of snow covered the lawn. The inside décor wasn't fancy, but it was clean and cozy. There was a Christmas tree in the living room and the delicious smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies wafted in from the kitchen.

"Please have a seat," Elizabeth said, motioning to the couch.

"Mrs. Hanson," Mac began, "when was the last time you talked to your husband?"

"A few days ago," she replied. "He called to tell me that his ship would be docking in time for Christmas."

"Did he mention anything specific about coming home?" Harm asked.

"No, I didn't think he had to. I just assumed that he would come home once the ship arrived."

"But he never did."

Elizabeth swallowed as she tried to hold back a sob. "Not yet."

"Has your husband ever done anything like this before?" Mac asked.

"My husband is a good sailor, Colonel," Elizabeth said firmly. "He would never abandon the Navy. Or his family."

"What if he felt he had no choice?"

Elizabeth glared at Harm angrily. "What are you implying, Commander?"

"Mommy?"

All three adults looked up at the sound of a young girl's voice coming from the threshold of the living room.

"That's Jenna," Elizabeth said. "Our six-year-old daughter. Jenna, these officers are trying to help us find Daddy."

With a glance at Mac, Harm stood from the couch and made his way over to the little girl.

"Hi, Jenna." His voice was so soft and gentle, in a tone that Mac rarely ever heard him use.

The little girl looked up at Harm with sad blue eyes. "Are you going to help find my daddy?"

He knelt to her level and touched her shoulder gently. "We're looking for him."

"When you find him, can you tell him that we made his favorite cookies?"

"I can." Harm smiled. "Jenna, we're going to do everything we can to bring your dad home for Christmas."

"Do you promise?"

Harm nodded. "I promise."

Elizabeth smiled through moist eyes. "Your commander has a way with kids," she remarked to Mac.

"I think he has a soft spot for kids who are looking for their father," Mac corrected.

"You two are cute together."

Mac's mouth fell open. "Oh, we're not...together, Mrs. Hanson."

The other woman smiled knowingly. "Oh, I see. Just work partners then?"

* * *

"So a Navy lieutenant goes UA from his ship with absolutely no sign of foul play, and he doesn't even contact his family," Mac said as they left the house. "What does that tell us?"

"He doesn't want to be found," Harm replied logically.

"Harm." Mac's voice had a suspicious tone. "Don't go there. I know that look."

"What look?"

"The look that says you're not gonna let this one go."

"This isn't that look," he insisted.

"Harm, you promised a six-year-old that you would bring her dad home for Christmas."

He nodded almost imperceptibly. "I did, Mac."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep."

"I haven't yet."

* * *

"Sarah MacKenzie?"

Harm had planned to drop Mac off at her apartment on his way home, but just as she stepped out of the car, a delivery man approached her. It looked like he had been waiting for a while, as a large box and a potted Christmas tree sat on the curb next to him.

"Delivery for Sarah MacKenzie," he said, holding out the packing slip for her to sign.

"A Christmas tree?" she asked in disbelief. "I didn't order a Christmas tree."

"Are you Sarah MacKenzie?"

"Yes, but—"

"Well, then it's yours," the delivery man said impatiently, shoving the pen and paper into her hand. "Sign here."

Slightly befuddled, she did.

As the delivery truck drove away, Harm and Mac found themselves hauling a large, healthy-looking evergreen into Mac's apartment along with a giant box labeled _fragile_.

"Where do you want it?" Harm asked.

"Over by the window, I guess," Mac said. She hurried to move a couple pieces of furniture aside. "I wasn't really set up to have a Christmas tree."

"Well, obviously someone thought you needed one."

"And why do I get the feeling that someone is the same someone who has been spreading a little too much Christmas cheer around JAG?"

Mac opened the box that had accompanied the tree. "Ornaments," she said. "And tinsel and...lights." She pulled out a string of lights and handed one end to Harm. "Keep pulling," she instructed.

The string of lights seemed almost endless. By the time Mac finished removing them all from the box, Harm had wrapped the lights around his neck several times and was starting to circle them around his wrists in an effort to keep them untangled.

Mac couldn't help smiling at the sight. She didn't know if it had just been a long day and she was overly tired, or if having Harm in her apartment, wrapped in Christmas lights, made everything just a little better.

"Well, what do you say, sailor?" she asked teasingly. "Want to decorate a Christmas tree tonight?"

And when she smiled at him like that, Harm found himself unable to refuse.


	5. Elf

"Hanson is off the grid, sir," Harm reported to the admiral the next morning. "His shipmates haven't seen him, and neither has his family."

"How does a Navy lieutenant just disappear?" the admiral asked. "And why?"

"We don't know, sir," Mac admitted, "but Lieutenant Roberts is still looking into his background."

"You think something could have actually happened to him?"

Harm shook his head. "It's a possibility, but I don't think so, sir. I think it's more of a case of a guy who doesn't want to be found."

"Well, find him, Commander."

"Yes, sir."

"And keep me informed."

"Aye, sir."

Just then, the doors to JAG swung open, and Bud entered carrying a life-size baby elf.

"Lieutenant!" the admiral growled. "I thought I told your wife no more Christmas decorations in this office!"

"You did, sir. This, um...this isn't a decoration."

"Uncle A.J.!"

The little elf suddenly leapt out of his father's arms and rushed excitedly over to the admiral, reaching his arms up to wrap around his namesake's neck.

"Well, how's my boy?" the admiral asked, instantly softening. He stifled a groan as he lifted the growing boy from the floor. "Are you excited for Christmas, A.J.?"

"No." A.J. had a worried expression on his face.

"No? Why not?"

"Santa's really fat," A.J. explained in a serious tone. "He might get stuck in the chimney."

The admiral couldn't help but smile at the little boy's innocence. If only the world's greatest problem was whether or not a jolly old man in a red suit could fit down the chimney.

"Well, don't you worry, A.J.," he assured the little boy. "I'll let Santa know that if he has any trouble coming down your chimney, he can always come through the hole that your Uncle Harm shot through the roof here at JAG."

The admiral set A.J. back down on the floor and straightened the little boy's elf costume. "Lieutenant, I believe you're supposed to be assisting the commander and the colonel with the Hanson case."

"I'm on my way, sir," Bud said. "I'm sorry, there was a small emergency at A.J.'s daycare, so he'll be with us today."

"Well, you just make sure that your little elf doesn't cause any Christmas mischief, or you'll be dealing with the wrath of me."

"Yes, sir."

"And Lieutenant...I can make the Grinch look like Santa Claus."

Bud swallowed hard. "Understood, sir."


	6. Good tidings

**Hi, everyone! I'm planning to post chapters 6 and 7 together, as they're both pretty short and basically follow each other. I hope you like them. Thanks again for following the Christmas story so far!**

* * *

"Commander!"

Later that evening, Bud banged loudly on Harm's apartment door, but he could hear a machine buzzing from inside the apartment, and he didn't think Harm could hear him.

"Commander!" A.J. mimicked his father, pounding on the door and grinning because he liked the noise.

"A.J., I don't think he can hear us," Bud said. He glanced around the hallway, briefly wondering where Harm had hidden his spare key this time.

Just as Bud raised his arm to pound on the door again, the buzzing stopped.

"Commander!" Now Bud's voice echoed much louder than he had intended, and Harm yanked open the door in surprise.

"Sorry, sir," Bud said sheepishly. "I didn't think you could hear me."

"Yeah, sorry, I was just sanding…uh, come on in. Hey, A.J."

"Uncle Harm!" the little boy exclaimed.

Harm's apartment smelled strongly of sawdust and wood stain. Huge cloth drapes were spread out to protect the floor in his living room, and several long boards of wood were stacked neatly next to the electric sander.

Bud glanced over at the detailed drawings laid out on the counter. "What are you working on, sir?"

"Oh, nothing," Harm said quickly. "Just doing some repairs around here. Fixing up a few things."

Bud didn't think the plans looked quite like a repair job, but he chose not to mention it. "Sir, I found some information that might be helpful in locating the lieutenant."

"Yeah?"

Bud handed Harm a sheet of paper. "It turns out that Lieutenant Hanson made two visits to the Bethesda Naval Hospital about a year ago."

"For what?"

"Well, that's the question, sir. His medical records only say that he was admitted for an evaluation."

"Nothing about what kind of evaluation?"

"Nothing," Bud confirmed. "But the doctor – uh, a Dr. Kenneth Marston – still works there."

"So maybe the lieutenant has some sort of health problem," Harm mused.

"It's possible, sir."

"A health problem that he's not reporting to the Navy." Harm nodded approvingly. "Good work, Bud."

With an impatient cry, A.J. suddenly slapped his hand down on the pile of wood.

"Hey, little guy." Harm stretched out on the floor next to A.J. and hoisted him into his lap. "Go easy on that, will you? Here, try this."

Bud smiled as Harm handed A.J. a small piece of sandpaper and guided the boy's hand back and forth on the plank.

"Gently," Harm said. "Go with the grain of the wood."

"Gently," A.J. repeated, giggling with glee.

"Sorry A.J. had to tag along, sir," Bud apologized. "I promised Harriet I would watch him this evening."

"Yeah? What's Harriet up to tonight?"

Bud rolled his eyes. "What every woman is up to this time of year…Christmas shopping."


	7. Shopping

_Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way_...

 _I'm dreaming of a white Christmas..._

 _Hark the herald angels sing..._

The Christmas carols echoed through every corridor of the shopping mall. The rows of shops were brightly lit with trees and wreaths and sale advertisements hanging in the windows. People hurried from store to store trying to complete their holiday shopping and creating a steady stream of traffic.

"Thanks for coming with me tonight, ma'am," Harriet said. "I know it's been a little hard for you to get into the Christmas spirit, but it's so nice to have company along."

"It's good for me," Mac replied sincerely. "And call me Mac tonight, Harriet."

She stumbled forward suddenly as a couple of other shoppers rudely bumped her from behind. As they continued on their way without even noticing, Mac let out a sigh and wondered how Harriet managed to glide through the crowd, completely unfazed.

"You haven't been in a mall lately, have you?" Harriet asked, as if she could read her friend's thoughts.

Mac gave a small, self-conscious smile. "Sorry, Harriet, I guess I'm not very good at shopping this time of year. I'm a U.S. Marine, and I can't even navigate a shopping mall."

"Well, I'm not sure even the Marines can deal with a mall at Christmas time, ma'am. It just takes a little practice...you really have to know what you're looking for and go for it."

Mac glanced doubtfully at the nearest store window. "I'm not sure I'm looking for this, Harriet."

Harriet giggled at the sexy red lingerie display. "Oh, I don't know, ma'am. You never know when you'll meet a man with a secret Mrs. Claus fantasy."

"Harriet!"

Harriet grinned suggestively and moved on ahead past the store.

Discreetly, Mac cast one more glance at the display. The sheer lacy outfit would certainly leave little to the imagination, and it seemed to be barely strung together with shiny red bows that could easily be untied just like a Christmas present.

Briefly, she allowed herself to indulge in the idea of Santa flying a fighter jet rather than eight tiny reindeer, but Mac quickly banished all inappropriate thoughts from her mind. Worried about getting lost in the crowd again, she hurried after Harriet.

As they made their way into one of the toy stores, Harriet immediately spotted what she was looking for.

"A.J. has been asking for this for months," Harriet said, taking a model train set off the shelf. "He'll love it. He and Bud have already cleared a space for it in his bedroom." She laughed. "I'm not sure who will be more excited about this gift – A.J. or Bud."

Just then, one of the models on the shelf caught Mac's eye.

"An F-14 Tomcat," she murmured, lifting up the box to take a look at it.

"For the commander?" Harriet's eyes sparkled.

Mac laughed. "I don't know, Harriet. I'm not sure Harm will settle for anything less than the real thing, and that's not going to fit in his bedroom."

"Well, I wouldn't know, ma'am," Harriet said seriously. "I've never been in the commander's bedroom."

Mac felt her heart skip a beat at the implication.

"You know what?" she said, trying to deflect the heated blush that was threatening to creep up her neck. She took the train set out of Harriet's hands. "I'd like to buy this for little A.J."

"Oh, ma'am, that's not necessary," Harriet protested.

"I know," Mac said, "but I want to. You can tell him it's from Santa." She picked up the box with the Tomcat. "And I'll take this, too."

 _Because I think it's the perfect Christmas gift for a certain commander who's really just a little boy at heart._


	8. Cookies

**Apologies that chapter 8 took a little longer to post. Can I offer you some Harm and Mac Christmas fluff? :)**

* * *

"Ugh."

Mac let out a frustrated sigh as she hauled two heavy grocery bags – one in each arm – up to her apartment door and then realized that her keys were still in her purse.

Trying to come up with a solution that wouldn't involve putting the bags down on the ground, she attempted to balance one of them on her hip while she reached for her keys. It worked for just a split second, until the weight of the bag could no longer overcome gravity, and Mac made a desperate grab for it as the groceries started to tumble to the floor.

"I got it, Marine."

In one smooth motion, the bag was suddenly lifted away from her and saved from the spill.

"Thanks, Harm," she said as she pulled out her keys and unlocked the door. "Come on in."

He followed her into the kitchen and set the bag on the counter.

"Chloe called a little while ago. She's coming for a sleepover just before Christmas."

"And how is your little sister?"

Mac laughed. "On the verge of becoming a teenager."

Harm fished some of the groceries out of the bags. "Chocolate, ice cream, and chicken wings." He raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you two have a healthy evening planned."

"Don't start," Mac warned him with a smile. "You try feeding a teenager."

"Or a Marine."

She punched him in the shoulder with mock indignation and opened the refrigerator to put the groceries away. "I also got some stuff for Christmas cookies, and I thought I would bake them before Chloe comes. You feel like helping out?"

"You trying to convert me into a sugar addict?"

"Maybe."

Actually the invitation had come out of her mouth unexpectedly. Just when had she discovered so much Christmas spirit anyway? Was it about the same time she became so comfortable spending time with Harm in her apartment? And baking Christmas cookies? She knew he was a pro in the kitchen, but she didn't think his culinary talent was the only reason she wanted him here.

He had been handing her groceries to put away, and his fingers brushed against hers every time. It made her heart race, and when she closed the refrigerator, Mac was suddenly very aware of how close they stood to each other and how intense the look in his eyes had become. Her gaze fell on his lips, and she wondered what he would taste like.

"I'll, um...get a cookie tray," she said quietly, stepping away from him and effectively breaking the moment.

"So Bud did some research into our missing lieutenant," Harm said, trying to calm his own racing heart.

"And?"

"Hanson made a couple visits to Bethesda a year ago."

"For what?"

"The records don't say."

"What?" Mac was surprised. "How can medical records not say what the visit is for?"

"Well, Mac, that's a good question to ask the doctor."

"So you want to go to Bethesda tomorrow." Mac didn't even have to make it a question. She knew Harm and knew that was exactly what he intended to do.

She placed a cookie tray and a large mixing bowl on the counter. "You ready for this, partner?"

* * *

It didn't take long to get a batch of cookies into the oven.

Mac was almost relieved, as she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand the sparks that had been flying between them the whole time.

Having her handsome partner so close to her, in such a domestic way, was as comforting as it was unnerving. He was completely at home in her kitchen, whether it was measuring ingredients, rolling cookie dough, or washing dishes up to his elbows in soapy water.

Both his presence and the warm cookie aroma filled her apartment, and Mac realized she didn't want it any other way.

The oven timer rang, and she pulled out the tray to inspect the cookies. They were soft and lightly browned.

 _Perfect_ , she decided.

As the cookies cooled, Harm took the pot off the stove where he had been melting chocolate. He drizzled it over the cookies and then offered Mac the remaining chocolate.

Mac laughed as he somehow managed to end up with a long streak of chocolate down the side of his face.

She reached up to brush it away, but he caught her hand and pulled her close.

"Mac." Her name rolled off his tongue in a breathy whisper.

And when his lips touched hers, the heat that ignited between them could have set the room on fire.


	9. Peppermint

**Apologies again – I was away from the computer for a while, but I'm back now and hope to finish posting the story over the next few days. It's 12 chapters total. Thank you all for reading – so glad you like the story so far!**

* * *

The next morning, Mac arrived at the office early. She stopped in the kitchen to prepare her coffee, her thoughts fully occupied by Harm's kiss the night before. A soft smile spread over her face as she stirred her coffee. She had never thought she would fall quite so hard for her best friend.

"Morning."

He came up behind her, his hand barely brushing against her hip and his voice a soft whisper against her ear.

"Morning." She offered him the coffee pot. "Want some? I just made it fresh."

"Thanks."

His fingers just grazed hers as he reached for his coffee, and Mac was thrilled to feel the same sparks flying through her as the night before. It wasn't awkward. It was simply comfortable.

 _This is how it's supposed to be_ , she thought. The two of them, together, enjoying each other's company in the quiet early morning.

Until Harm took a sip of his coffee and almost spit it back out.

"What is that?" he sputtered.

Mac laughed at the expression on his face. "It's a peppermint blend," she said, showing him the label on the box. "Harriet replaced all of the coffee in here with 'flavors of the season.'"

"You could have warned me." With a frown, Harm examined his coffee and cautiously took another sip.

"Is it that bad?" Mac asked.

She took a step closer to him until they were merely a breath apart from each other. She could almost taste the peppermint on his lips. She _wanted_ to taste it. And then a small, nagging voice at the back of her mind reminded her that they were in uniform, at JAG, and in a public kitchen where anyone could walk in.

"Harm..." she whispered. "We, um...we can't…we need to—"

"Go to Bethesda."

The sense of duty and regulation struck him at the same time. Reluctantly, Harm stepped away from her, and as if he didn't trust himself to resist the temptation, he took another sip of coffee, dumped the rest down the sink, and disappeared out the door.

 _Yes,_ Mac agreed silently, taking a deep breath _. Go to Bethesda. That's exactly what we need to do._

* * *

"Dr. Kenneth Marston?"

The young man dressed in a white lab coat turned around at the sound of his name. "That's me."

"I'm Commander Rabb, this is Colonel MacKenzie. We'd like to ask you some questions about one of your patients."

Dr. Marston nodded. "Well, all right. I'm not sure how much I can say, but—"

"Lieutenant James Hanson has gone UA off the _USS Holiday_ ," Harm explained. "We're trying to locate him. He came to see you a year ago, and there's no record of why."

"James Hanson?" the doctor repeated. "I'm not sure I remember him?"

"Maybe this will jog your memory," Mac said. She handed him the medical sheet that Bud had discovered the day before. "Two visits to Bethesda a year ago. The only record is that you were 'evaluating' him. Can you tell us why, doctor?"

Dr. Marston looked slightly taken aback.

"What is it that you do here?" Harm prompted.

"I'm a psychiatrist, Commander."

"So I'm guessing Lieutenant Hanson wasn't coming to see you because he had the flu."

Dr. Marston's brow furrowed as he struggled to remember. "I do have a vague memory of him. He was a quiet guy. He didn't want a record of his visits."

"Why?"

"Well, Commander, sometimes psychiatric patients find it difficult to ask for help."

"Is that why he only came twice?" Mac asked.

"I assume so, Colonel," Dr. Marston replied. "After the second visit, he never came back."

"And you never followed up?"

A nurse suddenly motioned to the doctor from another room, and he nodded in acknowledgment. "I'm sorry…if you'll excuse me, Commander, Colonel."

Harm watched the doctor retreat down the hallway with a hard stare, and Mac watched her partner out of the corner of her eye.

"So what do you think?" she asked carefully.

"I think Hanson gave up hope, Mac. That's why he doesn't want to be found."

"Harm, if Hanson does have a psychiatric problem, he's not in the best frame of mind," Mac reasoned. "He could be anywhere."

"I know."

"But that's not going to stop you from looking, is it?"

She could almost see the distracted gaze leave his eye only to be replaced by a dark, determined stubbornness.

"Well, Mac, Christmas is the time for hope, right? So let's just keep hoping we find him."


	10. Presents

**More Christmas fluff – because you needed some Harm and Mac Christmas fluff today, right? :)**

* * *

"Chloe, hold still!"

"I can't help it," Chloe said, wiggling her toes with delight. "They're so pretty!"

"But if you keep wiggling, I won't be able to paint on the candy cane stripes," Mac pointed out. She grabbed her little sister's big toe, and Chloe collapsed on the couch in giggles.

Mac loved these sleepovers and sharing these moments with the younger girl. She had turned on the Christmas tree lights that evening and started a fire to take the edge off the winter chill. Now she and Chloe were curled up on the couch in their pajamas, experimenting with an extensive collection of nail polish.

With only a small amount of additional wiggling from her little sister, Mac finally managed to finish the candy cane stripes, and Chloe bent down to admire her toes.

"Okay, your turn," Chloe declared, selecting one of the other colors. "How about Frosty Icicle?"

"Sounds cold."

"It's a sparkly white treat for your toes," Chloe read from the bottle.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Chloe bounded off the couch before Mac could object, waddling to the door on her heels to protect her freshly painted toes. She swung the door open. "Hey, Harm."

"Hi, Chloe," he said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas. Come on in."

"What are you doing here?" Mac asked, rising from the couch. "You get another break in the case?"

"Not yet," he replied. "But I want to talk to the wife and daughter again tomorrow. I think they know something that they don't know they know, and I think it'll help us find the lieutenant."

Mac nodded. "Sure. So why'd you come by?"

"Well, actually I came to deliver Christmas presents."

"Presents?" Chloe asked eagerly.

Harm handed her the red and green box in his hands. "Chloe, I think this one has your name on it."

Chloe's face broke into a wide smile, and she plopped down on the couch to open the gift. She pulled out a pretty jeweled box and when she opened it, she squealed at the selection of nail polish.

"Oh, this is perfect," she said. "Mac, there's a bright red one in here called Forbidden Temptation. I think it would look good on you."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Mac threw a pillow at her little sister. "Thanks a lot, Harm."

"Harm, Mac has a present for you under the tree," Chloe announced. She set the nail polish down on the coffee table and walked over to the tree to retrieve the rectangular box.

"She did a really good job wrapping it," Chloe said. "I watched her."

Both she and Mac watched as Harm made quick work of the wrapping job.

 _Cars, trains, ships, and planes. Models of the U.S. military._

"An F-14 Tomcat," Harm said, his face breaking out in a grin.

"It was the closest I could get to the real thing," Mac admitted.

Secretly she adored the way his eyes had just lit up, and she thought he looked even more handsome with such an expression of happiness and...love.

"So Harm, what did you get Mac?" Chloe asked bluntly.

"Chloe!" Mac hissed.

"What makes you think I got her something?"

But his grin gave him away, and Mac's eyes were shining with anticipation.

"Come here," Harm said, taking her hand and pulling her off the couch.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, your present wouldn't fit under a tree." He motioned to the door. "It's sitting in the hallway."

"The hallway?"

Mac looked at him suspiciously and went to open the door and she gave a small gasp of surprise.

Just outside the door, against the wall where she hadn't noticed it before, there was a very large object draped in red and green foil with a puffy silver bow on top.

"Harm, how did you get this here?"

"Oh, I had help from a couple of elves."

Carefully, Mac peeled back the wrapping paper to reveal a wooden frame with six slanted shelves.

"A shoe rack?" she asked in wonder.

"Well, I thought you might need somewhere to store all those comfortable shoes of yours."

Mac ran her hand along the wood. It was strong and sturdy, perfectly smooth, and stained a dark cherry red. "Harm, I've never seen anything like it. How did you...where did you...?"

"In the middle of my living room."

Mac's eyes widened as her fingers brushed over an elaborate design on the top shelf. She realized that there was an engraving carved into the wood.

 _Sarah._

Slowly, Mac traced the letters of her name in flowing cursive script. She didn't think she had ever received anything so exquisitely made – and it was all made by Harm's own hand.

She couldn't stop herself. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. "Thank you," she murmured against his lips.

Suddenly, she heard a quiet little voice chanting behind her. "Harm and Mac, sitting in a Christmas tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g."

Without releasing Harm from the sweet liplock, Mac reached over and closed the door in Chloe's face.

Chloe just grinned.


	11. Christmas carols

"Mrs. Hanson, did you know that your husband had two psychiatric evaluations at Bethesda last year?"

Elizabeth was seated on her living room couch, looking up at both Harm and Mac with a stunned expression. "No."

"Neither did anybody else," Mac said gently. "Mrs. Hanson, we think that your husband was trying to get help, but he didn't continue with the treatment. So he's probably only gotten worse over the last year."

Elizabeth shook her head. "He never said anything to me."

"He probably didn't want you to worry," Harm said. "Seems like the kind of guy who kept everything to himself. Did he ever go anywhere when he wanted to be alone?"

"No," Elizabeth insisted. "Whenever he was home, he would always want to be with Jenna. And when he was on the ship, he was with hundreds of other people."

"Well, there aren't many places to get away on a carrier."

"You think that's why he disappeared?" Elizabeth asked.

"Maybe."

Suddenly, there was a bang and a strange dissonant echo from down the hall.

"Jenna?" Elizabeth called.

Harm and Mac followed her to the little girl's room, and when they reached the door, they found Jenna sprawled out on her bed.

"Daddy?"

"Not yet, Jenna," Elizabeth said.

"But we're still looking," Harm added, taking a step into the room.

His eyes fell on an acoustic guitar laying on the floor, and he realized that Jenna must have accidentally knocked it over. He knelt and picked it up, running his hands along the wood. It was a beautiful instrument, recently tuned and in excellent condition. There was a small inscription along the edge, and Harm squinted to read it.

 _Wake up to the music every morning._

"Jenna, is this your guitar?" Harm asked.

Jenna nodded. "My daddy sings me songs before I go to sleep."

Elizabeth smiled at the memory. "Whenever he's home, I always find James in here at bedtime. He's trying to teach Jenna how to play." She laughed a little. "James takes his guitar everywhere – I think it's permanently attached to him. They even let him take it on the ship."

As Elizabeth spoke, something inside Harm's head suddenly seemed to connect, and he looked up at Mac. His partner met his eyes with her own questioning gaze, and the unspoken words of realization passed silently between them.

* * *

 _I'll have a blue Christmas, that's certain_

 _And when those blue heartaches start hurting_

 _You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of white_

 _But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas._

It was a small hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, but it opened at 0500 every morning, and with its open microphone, it offered customers a chance to wake up to all types of music. But at this time of day, the tables were nearly empty, and the lone musician on stage gave a heavy sigh as he noticed that his only audience was a Navy commander and a Marine colonel.

"I knew the Navy would find me eventually," he said dejectedly.

"Well, you didn't make it easy, Lieutenant," Harm informed him.

"Nothing's easy anymore, Commander."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, I have a hard time believing that I'm worth much to anyone these days."

"Actually, Lieutenant, the Navy tells me you're a fine sailor, and I have it on good authority that you're a pretty good dad, too."

James scoffed. "Then you're misinformed, Commander. How'd you even find me?"

"Your guitar. It was the only thing we didn't find in your quarters on the ship. You couldn't bear to leave it behind because the music is what wakes you up every morning, isn't it?"

James looked away in shame, unable to meet Harm's eye. "Sometimes it's the only thing that helps," he said quietly. He motioned to one of the other guitars on stage. "Do you play, Commander?"

"A little."

"You know any Christmas tunes?"

Harm nodded, picking up a guitar and strumming a few opening chords. "Yeah, I know one."

 _I'll be home for Christmas_

 _You can count on me_

 _Please have snow and mistletoe_

 _And presents under the tree_

Harm motioned for James to join in, and the other man's eyes brightened slightly as he filled in a soft harmony with his guitar and deeper voice.

 _Christmas Eve will find me_

 _Where the love light gleams_

 _I'll be home for Christmas_

 _If only in my dreams_

When the final chord had faded away, Harm set down the guitar, his eyes meeting the lieutenant's with a strong, piercing gaze.

"Lieutenant, the Navy can offer you help," he said. "But only if you're willing to take it."

"I'm not sure that will work, Commander," James argued. "I went UA...I'm sure Captain Nicholas is having a fit."

"Well, if the captain decides to press charges, we'll make sure you have a good lawyer."

"You, Commander?"

"If you'd like me to. Lieutenant, I don't think it's the music that wakes you up every morning. It's the fact that your daughter is there to share it with you. And isn't she what makes your life worth it? There's no better gift than the chance to wake up on Christmas morning with your wife and daughter. Don't throw it away."

James didn't reply, and he was surprised to find himself unable to speak, as Harm's words struck the sadness that he had bottled up inside for so long. He rubbed a hand over his weary face, and a lone tear fell from his eyes as his entire body slumped in defeat.

Harm put a hand on the man's shoulder. "Go home for Christmas, Lieutenant."

"Is that an order?" James asked in a shaky voice.

"No." Harm shook his head. "Not from me."

"Daddy!"

James' eyes widened as he heard the voice behind him. "Jenna?"

The little girl had just entered the coffee shop, and she broke away from her mother's grasp and flung herself at her father.

James caught her in his arms and tightly squeezed his daughter in a hug. "Oh, Jenna," he whispered. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry."

Elizabeth wiped her own tears from her face and wrapped her arms around her husband and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Welcome home, sailor."

And as the family embraced, Harm quietly stepped back alongside the Marine waiting for him at the edge of the stage.

"So you brought her father home for Christmas," Mac said, her eyes filled with admiration. She looked over at Harm with a smile. "You did good, Commander."


	12. Candlelight

**And so we have come to the final chapter. Thank you all for following a Christmas story out of season. I don't really know what my muse was thinking, but I had fun writing it, and I hope you like the ending.**

* * *

The dark winter night had already fallen over Washington, DC, and it was just starting to snow. The snowflakes sparkled against the lights on the Vietnam Memorial, and the wintry setting almost glowed as two figures stepped up to the wall.

"Merry Christmas, Dad."

Harm traced his fingers over the engraved name of Harmon Rabb, Sr., his heart constricting at the thought that his own father would never be home for Christmas.

Mac stood by his side, holding a small candle. She held a light up to the wick, and the flame burst to life, flickering brightly against the snow. She set the candle down at the foot of the wall and stepped back to watch it burn.

"Merry Christmas, Lieutenant," she said softly.

She rested her head on Harm's shoulder, and they stood in silence for a moment, Harm grieving for the father he had lost much too soon and Mac wishing she could comfort his pain. She wondered about the man she would never meet, the man Harm held in such high regard and what he would have said if he knew she had fallen in love with his son.

A cold gust of wind swept through the memorial, strong enough to send the snowflakes scattering but not enough to extinguish the candle flames. Mac pulled her coat just a little tighter around herself, and Harm reached for her hand.

"So, Sarah MacKenzie," he said quietly, "did you find your Christmas spirit this year?"

Mac sighed happily. "I think I did."

"And did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?"

"You mean besides a beautiful custom-made shoe rack?"

Harm grinned. "Yeah, besides that."

"No."

"No?" Harm raised an eyebrow.

She turned to face him, her beautiful eyes locked on his, and she removed her glove to touch her hand to his cheek.

"Ask me what I want for Christmas," she said breathlessly.

"What do you want?" His voice was low and filled with desire.

"You," Mac whispered. She brushed her lips tenderly against his and then pulled him close and deepened the kiss. "I want to wake up on Christmas morning with you."


End file.
